Horny: I thought I’d get a bit of peace and quiet behind that rusty old circular saw. Never mind. What can I do for you young lady?
Crinkle: I’m sorry to have disturbed you but there is a matter of some urgency for which I require your assistance.
Horny: Ah ha! Well you’ve come to the right person all right. Old Horny Head is a real sucker when it comes to folk needing help.
Crinkle: Horny Head?
Horny: Yes. That’s the name by which I am known. Anything wrong with it?
Crinkle: Oh no. Certainly not. I didn’t mean to cause offence. It’s just that it’s a... ...rather unusual name.
Horny: Unusual? Obviously you don’t know many people with horns or you’d think it quite a common name.
Crinkle: Well... ...I must admit that I usually stay well clear of horns.
Horny: Really? I assume that you are one of those misguided people who think that horns are for jabbing the anatomy of innocent victims.
Crinkle: Mmmmm. It has crossed my mind that horns could be used for that purpose.
Horny: Not around here, my friend. Horns have much more useful purposes than spiking bottoms.
Crinkle: Oh. I can’t actually think of any.
Horny: You can’t? How about: standing on your head without using your hands, picking apples without even trying, keeping your hat on in windy weather, or toasting muffins over an open fire?
Crinkle: Yes. You’re right. Horns have far more use than I’d thought.
Horny: So, now that we’ve settled the question of the usefulness of horns, how can I help you?
Crinkle: If you could go to the Wolfbreath Stone you could help to save the Greenwood.
Horny: Ah ha! I’ve heard rumours about this. Don’t worry. I’ll be there directly. You can count on good old Horny Head.
